"Be quick to listen and slow to speak"
One thing my kids have trouble with. So we made this controller together using a old chalk bored eraser, tin foil, foam, glue, marker, and wooden letters.
Really nothing beats old fashion talking it out but personally I found with my son he can get so upset sometimes that talking about the issue is far from what he wants or is going to do. I found this to be a good visual reminder to him.
The idea of the self controller~
The pause button means to stop all together what they are doing
The power button is to remind them they have control over what they do/say
The guide button is to remind them help is always close by if needed.(for ex. maybe they need help learning how to relax in a upsetting setting, or they don't know how to deal with what they are feeling or just need to talk)
The stop button is to remind them stopping means stopping and not only for the moment.
(personally my kids sometimes think if they wait 10 mins it means they can go back to what they are doing..we are working on it)